ginger20ale

Just like everyone else’s, my life sucks from time to time! This past month has been one catastrophe after another. Marie, my daughter who is deaf, had again been hospitalized due to a dangerous PTSD episode. When in a dissociative state, she downed staples in an effort to kill herself. Ever the optimist, I was hoping against hope that her memories of severe abuse would begin to soften, maybe even heal. Alas, not yet…this will be a lifelong battle.

My son Angel, who had just begun to drive, was involved in a rear end collision. While slowing down for a red light, KAPOWEE! another car hit him in the rear, pushing him into the truck in front of him. He was briefly hospitalized for whiplash, but the emotional impact was even worse. Sleeping is a luxury he no longer enjoys; wild fears and thoughts flood his already befuddled mind. He has stopped doing the things he used to do, clearly depressed that his means of freedom no longer sits in the driveway. Through no fault of his own, his major pride and joy, his ability to drive around and help others all day, has been destroyed. The car, safe and well running, was bought new in 2008. The insurance company only paid the Blue Book value of $4200. Because we do not have additional financial means, trying to find a car for such a small amount of money has been a real challenge, and every day that goes by without a car for Angel pushes him further and further into depression.

Marie’s recent birthday party was ruined when Steven “acted up”…having a full fledge outburst. (He has a severe sensory deficit with which he can not tolerate crowds or things not in his regular schedule. I should have had the foresight to arrange for him to be elsewhere.) Steven punched a hole in the wall and swore obscene obscene obscenities, (I know most obscene obscenities, but he came up with a few that were even more hard core.) As he stormed off down the street to settle himself down, the damage had already been done. Mortified at this behavior that most of our guests had never seen, everyone left, making a bee line for their cars, children in tow. Marie, who in her deafness had not heard the commotion, had been fishing on the dock behind our house. When she turned around, everyone was gone! She was quizzical at first, but not being a real “people person”, she took it in stride, especially because everyone had left their gifts for her!

My own work has been more difficult. The agency has hired a public relations person, and suddenly referrals have been flooding in. With an exponentially increased workload, putting in 50 hours a week has not been uncommon. What HAS been uncommon is the wrenching ache that developed in the pit of my stomach. Food would spew out of my stomach a half hour after I’d eaten. I felt awful, but I trekked on, saltine crackers and ginger ale bottle in tow. All my life, stress did not bother me. I could handle anything! No problem! Que sera sera! A little stress was not going to deter me from my job duties! (Like a mailman, neither ran, nor snow nor dark of night would keep me from my mission.) But as the stomach ache dragged on, my enthusiasm waned. I actually became depressed! My life, as I knew it, was over… or so I thought…..

After two weeks of eating nothing but chicken rice soup and saltines, I dragged my depressed little body to the walk in clinic. Taking one look at me, they sent me to the hospital emergency room where an intravenous was started to alleviate my dehydration. Laying there, I watched several bags of liquid force fed into the little vein in my hand. They did many tests, some to which I may have objected but I was too weak to stand my ground. Lo and behold, I was really sick! It wasn’t stress! It was salmonella poisoning from an egg breakfast at a local diner two weeks previously! Although I lay there on the gurney still feeling ill, happiness filled my heart. I was sick, not stressed! Life would return to “normal”, including all of the small tragedies and heartbreaks and problems associated with having five children with disabilities. But I could handle it! Life would go on!

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Comments on: "I’ve Never Been So Happy to be Sick!!!!" (44)

  1. Hope you feel better soon, and strength to deal with all you do!

  2. I hope you’re doing better soon!

  3. Ah, life. When it rains-it pours. I can soooooo empathize with your “pain.”
    Even though salmonella is not a fun illness, it will eventually go away with treatment. If only a few other of life’s problems were so easy!
    Prayers for you and yours.

  4. atimetoshare said:

    I admire your courage and pray for your quick recovery!

  5. Sweet. You have my admiration for all that you do. I have three “normal” children but yet they have outbursts too. At least yours have a disability to blame it on. Mine not so much. lol

  6. You are truly a special person. I’m stressed just reading your post :)!

  7. Hope you feel better soon. Prayers on your way!

  8. Gosh what a few weeks!!!! I’ve had salmonella it’s not funny at all I can say if you’ve been going to work etc with it that omg your a real trooper. Hope you recover soon my dear xx

  9. I was wondering where you were! Missed your posts! Sorry for the bundle of unfortunate events, and wishing you a fast recovery -

  10. You are truly a powerful person. Such strength, and to realize your relief because of illness is especially poignant. Well wishes. You have my admiration.

  11. Hoping you feel better soon!

  12. You have my utmost admiration and best wishes for a speedy recovery.

  13. Hope you feel better soon. Take care!

  14. Yikes! I will keep you and your family in prayer and I hope you are feeling a bit better:) hope you all have a peaceful weekend!

  15. I, too, was missing you in the post department. I’m so glad you’re on the mend. I did have to laugh at the thought of you being so happy that you were “merely sick” and not stressed. You have such a humorous outlook on life. I’m sure that is what gets you through some of the difficult days.

  16. I know what it’s like, when something puts you down like that, and you don’t realize you can blame it on illness, you doubt yourself. You think you have become incapable, it is a depressing and horrid place to be, when you cannot deal with the outbursts/work/incidents/accidents/chaos successfully and move on. I am so happy that you are just sick, I always feel relieved by it, too.

  17. I am grateful that you are going to be okay. Psalms to diagnosing salmonella. Godspeed.

  18. I’m so glad you will be okay! You’re awesome and I really enjoy laughing along with you

  19. Wow! Many plates spinning in your world. Prayers for you to return to health and stress for stress to give you some breathing room too!

  20. Feel better soon!

  21. I really hope you feel better soon and that good things start to happen again for you and your family. Xx

  22. Glad you’re better and continuing to push forward. Best to you and your family!

  23. Oh my! I can quite understand your happiness at being sick. And, guess what? You get to lie down and have people do stuff for you!

    I had an MRI scan once (for research, not diagnostic, so no worries with it) and was so grateful for a lie down in a darkened space on my own!!

  24. Gee… You are my hero… Superwoman in disguise… I have no problems after reading all your turmoil… Blessing and be well…

  25. Oh goodness; so glad you took yourself to the clinic and got that sorted out. Those sorts of stomach ailments are so debilitating.

  26. Wow, only you could tromp around that long with full-blown salmonella poisoning! I’m SO glad you finally decided to take care of yourself and got treated. (I hope the diner got slapped with a penalty so that won’t happen again!) You have had your share of sucky moments lately, and I hope you’ll soon be feeling back to your old self and able to handle them better. What you handle on a daily basis would put most of us out of commission! God bless you–and have a cyber hug to brighten your day!

  27. Ugh, well I’m glad you’re feeling better, and that they found out what it was. Hope the time in the hospital was a little escape, and that you weren’t in too bad shape the whole time to enjoy some of it. Wishing you all the best!

  28. So sorry for all the challenges you’ve been facing lately. I hope you get better soon.

  29. Get well soon! Or…maybe not

  30. How encouraging to discover you truly were sick, and not just “losing it” from stress! I hope you are soon on the mend, and that life’s little moments give you a breather now and then. – Fawn

  31. You are amazing!

  32. Awwww. God bless you and your kids. I hope Angel will get better, as well as Steven. But I was so sad that everyone left the party soon after.

  33. Isn’t it something that it takes illness to make us stop and rest! Because with these special children we don’t usually have time to rest! Bless you and hope you are getting better and stronger each day.

  34. Only a momma can say that she was relieved it was salmonella poisoning! Praying for a speedy recovery…and thank you so much for including the details of your son’s meltdown. My son is 11 with significant sensory processing issues – we have had our share of holes punched in the wall. I have really struggled with feeling like no one gets how hard this is sometimes. Your honesty is like a hug!
    Thank you and get well soon.
    Shawna from http://www.nottheformerthings.com

  35. You are such a trooper! I can’t believe you worked through that for as long as you did. And I always love hoe you take everything that happens with your kids in your stride. You really are a lit better at it than me and I only have one!

  36. Thank you for stopping by at my blog. May you be bless more abundantly in the name of Jesus Christ.

  37. So glad you figured it out! With kids like ours we function a bit on our own PTSD survival mechanisms which don’t allow us to “go down” very often. In eight years I’ve never been sick enough to be in bed. Also, as I read about your daughter i was thinking, have you ever heard of Somatic Experiencing? It’s sounds more “out there” than it really is, but we’ve had really good success with it.

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