Posts tagged ‘difficulty foster parenting’

Being a Foster Mom

     After we adopted our daughter, Dinora, from Guatemala in 1984, we wanted more children.  However, her adoption was costly and we did not have the money to do it again.  I happened to know someone who took in a foster baby and ended up adopting her.  Great, I thought, and we became foster parents.  The thing I did not realize prior to this experience is that the goal is almost always to unify the child with their biological parent.  We ended up having 14 foster children before we were able to adopt Steven.  Giving up the first foster child, who we had brought home from the hospital with a fractured skull and blind eye, was difficult.  He ended up going home to his biological parents within a month because no one could prove they had abused him.  (He’d fallen off of the changing table, they said.)  I cried and cried the day I had to drop him off, and I sent him home with 3 bags of clothing, a stroller and a bag of toys.  (I later learned not to give away baby items as we were soon again going to be needing them for another child.)  I learned to not get attached to the child, assuming he/she was going to go home.  Yet, each time I got a new foster child, I was filled with excitement.  I got to be a new mother 18 times!!!  Not many parents get to experience that. 

      I write about this because my son, Angel, has a aide who provides 20 hours of services for him.  She has been a foster parent of teenagers, (bless her soul,) and she was called to take another teenage girl.  Angel had been with her when they met, and the few times they visited before she moved in.  Today, this woman was going to pick up her new 14 year old foster daughter, Dawn, from a residential facility for girls.  Angel was not going to come, but Dawn asked if he could please come.  Angel, who loves to impress people with his kindness, bought 2 bouquets of flowers, one for Dawn and one for his aide.  For his aide, he also attached a balloon that read “It’s a girl!”  Motherhood can be a joy as many times as one becomes a mother, even if it is to a foster child!

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