Yes, I DO have a husband!

I write so often about my adventures with my children that I rarely mention that I have a husband. I love him to pieces, and he is a hard worker and great with the kiddos.  The reason why I don’t write about him…well…he’s kind of boring and not very interesting to write about.

It is very important that we, as the couple that hold the family together, spend quality time with each other.  If we do not put each other first, raising children, especially children with disabilities, would be difficult.  We need bonding, relaxing time together, and we manage to get away for at least a night or two every month,

We went away last weekend to a little cabin we have in the woods of New Hampshire last weekend.  My dad actually purchased this cabin for us when Steven was only a year old.  We knew from his autistic-like behaviors that we were not going to be able to vacation as a family very well at any hotel unless it had padded walls, (which I think I’ve only seen in those motels advertised for sexual adventures!) This cabin is where we have vacationed as a family, swimming in the nearby lake, boating, tubing and water skiing, hiking in the woods, fishing, snowmobiling, making camp fires, and just relaxing as a family.  It has served us well through out the years, and my husband and I  now use it sometime when we get away.  I personally prefer a 5 star hotel, room service and a massage, but that is rarely in our budget…okay the truth is it is NEVER in our budget, so the cabin suffices.

My husband, bless his soul, loves to putter around the place fixing all the little things.  Last weekend he cleaned out the crawl space under the house and found lots of dead mice, who ate our mouse poison and didn’t make it out of the basement in time; we need longer acting mouse poison so they can make it home and die in front of their families.  My husband also found TERMITES.  The house is surrounded by woods with lots of dead trees littering the landscape. WHY would the termites choose our house to eat?  It’s not like it is warm in there because there is no heat.  Why are they drawn to eat the only thing they shouldn’t eat?  I’ve come to the conclusion termites are like children. They won’t eat the huge pile of spaghetti offered to them, but instead want to one by one eat the limited supply of meatballs in the pot. (However,unlike the termites, we won’t kill our children to save the meatballs.)

Without the kiddos with us at the cabin, I was slightly bored!   Of course, my husband and I make a lot of time for loving and such, but that still leaves several hours of the day where he is puttering around and I am bored. I am not a good “relaxer”.  I usually need to be doing something, (thus the reason I have 5 kids in the first place!)  Without cable television, I am forced to…do nothing.  I have no hobbies, and I don’t generally like to read books.  I have been adverse to reading ever since I started reading a Danielle Steel novel in 1982 and never got to finish it because the kids always needed something and I would have to stop mid-chapter.  So, there I was, sitting on the couch, actually feeling a little sorry for myself because I had nothing to do.  Then, VOILA!  I remember that my youngest daughter had downloaded games on my cell phone!  So, there I sat all weekend, playing Scrabble on my phone.  It was great!  I beat myself 53 times!  I was a happy camper!

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Comments on: "Yes, I DO have a husband!" (33)

  1. I am a terrible relaxer too! That drives my husband batty. I have to be doing something or my brain explodes. Your little cabin sounds nice, and so does your husband! 😀

  2. Fun read

  3. I fully understand how hard it is to relax. 5 kids keep you busy and being away from them…well what do you do? What IS there to do? When was the last time you had hours and hours to focus on yourself AND your husband without the constant mommy tasks that make up your day.

    But…you do know I hope that relaxing is important. Recharging your batteries is very important.

    I had to learn how to relax, how to give myself permission to relax! That wasn’t as easy as it would seem.

    Thank goodness for Scrabble, right?! lol

  4. Ohhhh, I totally relate!!!! I’m so bad, the only way I can watch a movie with my husband is if I bring along my crochet or papers to grade, a file folder game to color, etc. Love to be around him, but I just can’t fathom not getting anything accomplished – even if it’s a computer game fo Scrabble. 🙂

    Alyson

  5. I never leave home without scrabble on hand. 🙂 My beloved lets me go visit my mom in AZ twice a year and she and I have scrabble marathons. I adore those times.

    I’m glad you had some time for bonding.

  6. Wow, you’re so lucky to have a place to go! Who watches the kids while you’re gone? Do they have separation anxiety?

    LOL about the termites. My 9yo is one of the pickiest eaters EVER, yet she’ll put any non food item in her mouth. She’ll lick it, chew it, even tear it to shreds. I swear, she’s part Golden Retriever puppy!

  7. fromthericefields said:

    Wonderfully written post!

  8. I had a smile on my face when I finished reading this, so thank you for making me smile. I, too, have a husband who loves to tinker around our home fixing things here and there. I am grateful for him because all our things are in perfect working condition! Well back to you … I can only imagine how your cabin looks like, and I wish my family have one to go spend wonderful times together. Please know that you are lucky to have such a place.

    Thanks again and I am now one of your avid followers! More power!

    Tina C. ♥

  9. Just reading through your post and thinking, line by line, I could have written that, yes, exactly, that too.

    I’m laughing at the similarities: 5 kids, various special needs, hypomanic tendencies, no desire/ability to ‘relax,’ unbelievably sympathetic, supportive husband (just makes me feel worse when I get mad at him,) and meatballs!!

    But the clincher is the Scrabble. Last night was election coverage and three games of iPhone Scrabble. Won 2, lost 1.

    What a pleasure to meet you!

  10. Kill the children, save the meatballs! Muahahahahaha!

    I love your writing style, it is a breath of fresh air in the morning!

  11. So happy to have found you…I am too much of a relaxer and need to get up and do things…I do have hobbies but after commuting to and from work all week all I want to do is stay home….I do like scrabble though no one else does, so the cell phone game is perfect! Congrats on beating yourself 🙂

  12. I hear ya on the relaxing issue. My husband majored in “relaxing”. With 3 little babies constantly undertow and 1 toddler, l get it. Even going to the grocery store with 2 instead of 4 is too “relaxing” lol. I’m trying. I think that’s why God put us with the men he did. To balance each other out.
    BTW, I love your blog! Funny and witty and yet strangely serious. Keep up the good work!

  13. reneeboomer said:

    Thank you for the like on my post. You are amazing! Good for you and your hubby for making time ‘just for the two of you’. So important and you well know. Have a wonderful weekend. Renee 🙂

  14. The cabin sounds great! I remember once a couple of years ago my husband asked me why I didn’t have any hobbies! “Well Honey. I haven’t had much time to develop any what with homeschooling 9 kids, 2 with disabilities and 1 with constant seizures and health issues, therapy and doctor appointments, and hospital stays.”

  15. objectpermanenceblog said:

    “So they can make it home and die in front of their families”—hilarious. Having dealt with mice, I second this emotion!

  16. Thanks for liking my post! This was a great story from you.

  17. I completely understand about not being able to relax… it takes time for the adrenalin to wear off. Actually I’m the (more) relaxed person in our marriage.
    Even with one son, it’s quite different when he’s at daycare screaming and running with the other kids (he’s nearly 3) in stead of at home. I do get restless after a while unless there’s work to do – blogging gets me through part of the day, too 😉

  18. Sounds wonderful! That would be a good time to try to read – no kids. But games work 🙂

  19. Ah – and we are both the type to go find something to do when there is nothing to do. Have Smart phone, will beat boredom. By the way – Danielle Steele? I’m sure thousands have made her popular, but when I spend time reading, it won’t be blah blah of the rich and lazy. Enjoy your relaxation time. I’ve heard that practice makes perfect. Maybe if you practice relaxing you might master it by age 93.

  20. Have you ever tried doing a bit of colouring in? I have heard that it is relaxing and peaceful for all sorts of people. Personally I found it very useful in healing from post-traumatic stress. Anyway, please feel free to print off some of my artwork for free from wildersoul.wordpress.com I’m aiming to create year’s worth of colouring sheets, and so far sticking to my goal of a new one daily. Good for grown-ups and kids alike. ~WilderSoul

    • My daughter would love that. She is very much into art and finds it very helpful.
      As for myself, I do not have the patience for that. Isn’t it funny, the very thing designed to be calming and relaxing would not be calming for me? I guess we are all different.

      • Funny, I didn’t used to find it relaxing either. Colouring the mandala style geometric shapes pretty much put me to sleep though! Perhaps I knew that would happen on some deep level, and avoided it because I didn’t want to sleep! Hope your daughter may find some of the artwork to her taste.
        On the thought of scrabble and computers: There’s not much that fills the relaxing space where a mother’s company used to be. ~WilderSoul

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