I waitressed from the age of 15 to 27, and it was a great job to have during college and as I started my career as a social worker.  I learned how to balance eight plates on my arm, and carry another 3 more in my hand.  I could gather up 8 glasses of water and get them to the table without spilling a drop.  I enjoyed the customers and nothing on the job bothered me…if I can handle life with five kids with ridiculously difficult problems, I could handle a burnt meal or two, the Heimlich maneuver, and customers running out without paying their checks.  So, when the time came recently that we needed extra money, I obtained a job as a waitress at a well known local restaurant nearby. Of course, I haven’t done this job in 30 years, and I AM a little older, but I thought I could still do well (and use my Cheshire cat smile to charm the customers into leaving large tips.)  I have worked for a week at this job, and I DO like it, but age has a way of affecting how I do my job.  When I squat down to get something from a bottom shelf, I can’t get up without a helping hand.  I need glasses to read the orders.  At this restaurant, which is more “elegant” than where I worked before, we need to use trays on which to place the plates of food, not line them up our arms, (a technique which served me well so many years ago!)  The problem is, I have arthritis in my hands and elbows and my balance is a little off, so I have difficulty carrying a tray full of meals up on my shoulder using one hand.  I CAN carry the tray on my shoulder if I use 2 hands, but the problem then comes when I have to put it gracefully down.  The other waitresses deftly grab a tray stand with one hand while balancing the meals with the other.  That’s not gonna happen with me.

This is where my appreciation of large breasts comes in.  I had always hated them.  The bra straps hurt.  They poke out unattractively.  If I try to wear a necklace, it sits at an awkward angle.  I am forever collecting crumbs on them. And they have just generally been a pain in the neck to put up with.  Until now.  When waitressing, I have learned how to take the tray off of my shoulders with both hands, and, with one hand under the tray and the top part of the tray balanced solidly under my left breast, I use my other hand to serve the meals.  Mission accomplished!  I wonder how long I’ll be able to do this before the management notices the gravy stains on my apron!

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Comments on: "I Never Thought I’d be Thankful for Having Big Breasts…and I Don’t Mean the Ones on the Turkey!" (36)

  1. Hmmmm… maybe I’ve been looking in the wrong field of work? Being well endowed, I could probably support a few things!

  2. LOL I loved this post! I am a small breasted woman, so have always lamented the fact that I need a padded bra, and can’t make a dress fit me properly. There’s another thing my breasts can’t do… balance a tray of plates! I can however, run without injury, go bra-less, and enjoy the fact that my breasts remain in reasonably the same position on my chest they have always been!

  3. By the way. I have just nominated you for a “Sisterhood of the world Bloggers Award” I have enjoyed reading your adventures with your kids and love your humour and down to earth attitude.
    The rules for accepting the nomination can be found here:

    http://kathrynlowe.wordpress.com/2012/11/22/sisterhood-of-the-world-bloggers-award-nominee/

    Congratulations 😉

  4. Funny. Reader’s Digest day at work kind of stuff.

  5. Brillant! Well done breasts!

  6. marymeddlemore said:

    he he wonderful post!

  7. that’s funnee, great read, 🙂

  8. Had to read this when I saw the great title – brilliant post, I love your humour and the way you turn a hindrance into an asset…great life lesson. What about me or my life do I not like but comes in useful sometimes…?

  9. You are so awesome. You could teach a course on the benefits of gratitude and joy. If I was eating at your restaurant I’d give you the biggest tip ever! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
    Warmth and Peace

  10. As a girl who started wearing a bra in the 3rd grade and has hated my endowment since about the 3rd grade I completely love this post!!! As I think about it my years of working in Restaurants in the Kitchen I could always carry a lot more things in my arms that the other girls for lack of the risk of them slipping out and hitting the floor. I guess that’s a thankful moment for me. Thanks for the great perspective and a good chuckle!!!

  11. I knew there had to be a reason (other than feeding children) why we had them!

  12. You gave me my first “laugh” for the day, enjoyable read, outstanding entry. Keep writing.

  13. Haha!! See, I always wanted bigger breasts…. one more reason to have them! (Don’t know why but the grass is always greener on the neighbor’s lawn!) 🙂

  14. What fun! Thank you.

  15. That if funny, I’ll have to remember that trick if I ever try to be a waitress again. I failed dismally the first time. I can’t remember squat.

  16. I miss my waitressing days! I admire your strength in supporting you family financially!! xoxo

  17. I love your spirit and sense of humor! And I am in awe – I waitressed during high school (um, 35-ish years ago, ahem), and could never do it again with my back, my knees, my eyes! Thanks so much for visiting my blog – it’s great to have “met” you.

  18. too funny, quite an enjoyable read

  19. An fantastic post … *smile
    Is it not funny, that women with small breast wants big breast and big breast women wants small … white woman want to be so dark as possible .. and woman with straight hair wants curly and the other way around.

    • I agree completely! I LOVE to see women with curly curly hair, and they hate it. I pay a lot of money to get mine permed, and they pay a lot of money to get their straightened.

  20. Love this post…it’s so good to finally find a good use for my well-endowed bosom! ~ Marsha

  21. haha!! 😀 What an amazing post! No, but really…large breasts are super!! I have them and I plan on enjoying them!! Embrace them! hehe 😉

  22. Oh my, I recognise all those (shh, don’t let anyone hear this) ‘ageing things’, the not getting up, the different way hands work, etc, gravity pulling everything downwards; but so great to find away to make a body do what it needs to do, in your own way. There’s always an answer. And yes, the crumbs. LOL Who needs plates when you have bossoms?!

  23. Adaptability is the key to motherhood 🙂

  24. This is so funny. I’ll bet the customers get a good kick out of it, too! 🙂

  25. Your life seems insurmountable but you manage to keep going, and being creative too. Well done! Oh, and never knock the big boobs- always a welcome bonus in my view. Regards and good wishes, Pete, England.

  26. too funny! Luv it! 🙂

  27. I like the details 🙂

  28. I’m most impressed lol Take my word for it, me and waitressing would be like an elephant balancing on a china tea cup…always did respect those who could do all that balancing lol I,too, am large chested and gravity has not been my friend, so you go, girl!

  29. Haha! As a waitress myself, I found this very entertaining!

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