For those who have been following my blog, you know that my daughter, Marie, who is deaf, was recently arrested and charged with assaulting a police officer with a deadly weapon while in a dissociative state following a PTSD episode.  (Phew!  That was a mouthful…)

I appreciate the tremendous amount of support I have received.  I am sure that all of your prayers and good wishes will ensure the situation will work out in the end.  I am generally an optimistic person, and being angry and worrying are not in my nature. This whole episode has put a dink in my armor.  And I DON”T LIKE IT!  I don’t like being angry and upset and feeling hopeless.  So, I am going to stop. I will get through this as I have through the numerous other challenges I have faced in raising my very difficult and involved children.  I will accept the circumstances for what they are, do as much as I possibly can as a regular little, old mom,  and look towards a brighter future.  I can be happy again, and even joke a little, (although at the moment I can’t fathom anything funny in this situation.)  I can return to “normal”, and continue to advocate for and love my wonderful children as they are, problems and all.

I’m glad I got that off my chest.  I feel better.  Thanks for “listening”.

PS. I bought Marie a goldfish to keep her company.  I asked her what its name was and she said “Sparingly”.  “Sparingly?” I asked, “How did you choose that name?”  She pointed to the container of goldfish food.  It read “Feed sparingly 3 times a day.”

Now I’m even smiling…

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Comments on: "I will say This about That…and then I am Done…" (57)

  1. Awww… She is so cute! Best wishes to her on her new pet!

  2. I’ve been having a bad day and that just made me smile and laugh and I feel better now. Thank you for sharing. 🙂

  3. Don’t you just love kids with a quirky and clever sense of humour?! Tell her that name is the single best name I’ve ever heard for a goldfish 😉

  4. “I will accept the circumstances for what they are, do as much as I possibly can as a regular little, old mom, and look towards a brighter future.”

    Yes, it is all you can do.
    but remember….you are NOT just a regular little old mom.
    You are an extraordinary one who deals with this most moms would shudder to even THINK about.
    get past your anger yes, But remember, sometimes youa re entitled to it. ❤

  5. “Feed Sparingly.” How clever is that! 🙂

  6. That is a great name! It made me smile too!

  7. Just when we think we might lose hope, He gives us something to smile about. Sparingly!

  8. Ohhh man – that “sparingly” is totally totally beautiful.

  9. It is normal to have emotions and feel them. Don’t beat yourself up over it.

    Lovexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    • I know that anger is normal, but I was raised with no anger at all…My mom always forgave and looked for the optimistic side. As a result, feeling anger is a very new experience for me and it is uncomfortable…

  10. That is the BEST name ever! Reminds me of the name my nephew chose for his stuffed shark…..

    “Sharky” of course!

  11. O.K. Sparingly. That’s hilarious. Best advice I ever got when things get crazy – do the next right thing. (Whatever that is, of course.) Praying that the judge, the prosecutor and the police department follow that advice. You are doing all you can for Marie to have her in a safe place. I hope they’ll leave well enough alone and start a file or something on her so they’ll have appropriate procedures in place for next time. Hang tough.
    Alyson

  12. OMG *dies laughing*

    Marie is full of awesome! Thanks for sharing that. I’ve had a rough day, and I needed that giggle.

    You two are lucky to have each other. 🙂

  13. Aw, that’s so sweet. Sparingly is very luck to be joining such a wonderful family x

  14. Love it! I want a ‘sparingly’ too:-) So glad you found a smile. Now I feel like sharing a poem that Gem, a character in a story I’m writing, ‘wrote’. She’s a 10 year old girl who watches the fish in her pond to calm down:

    Golden fish
    You’re really orange
    So I can see you bright
    Swimming deep
    in my garden pond
    Can you hear me down there?

    You swim happily
    Whatever’s happening
    (specially now the netting
    Protects you from the cat)

    I wish I could be calm
    And happy
    Like you
    But life’s not like that
    Up here

    Thank you
    For letting me watch you
    It makes me breathe better
    And sometimes
    You even make me smile.

  15. I’m glad the black cloud is starting to lift for you and I’m sure your wonderful kids will keep you smiling and get you all through this dreadful time. All the best.

  16. Good for you and what agreat name for the goldfish :]

  17. strawberryquicksand said:

    That is a great name for the gold fish!

  18. made me laugh 🙂

  19. Now that is a cute story!! hee heee I even shared it with my husband and daughter this morning. I love the name!

  20. I love ‘Sparingly’! my austistic grandson has Nemo and Nemo…2 goldfish who look the same…I ask which is which and he’ll point at one…well that one’s Nemo, Neena(I’m Neena)…can’t you tell? Look at his face! our kiddles are the best! You and your sweet daughter are in my thoughts!

  21. It’s OK to be angry and have negative feelings! They will pass, and your natural optimism and positive, creative outlook will return. : )

  22. simplyjoshuajames said:

    The naming of “Sparingly” is just genius 🙂

  23. manhattanrachel said:

    Life is short. So don’t waste it worrying, best wishes for you and Marie! 🙂

  24. Sorry to hear about your daughter’s situation. It will work out. You’re right about not worrying. It doesn’t solve anything. The end of your post was priceless; very funny.

  25. What a brilliant name for a goldfish. Good luck Marie! And mum! And the rest of the family!

  26. SleepyKnitter said:

    Blessings to you, Marie, and Sparingly!
    –shawnee

  27. Aww that just made me smile. The gold fish named sparingly. Way cool!

  28. Sparingly made me laugh! Sometimes parenthood isn’t easy. My thoughts are with you, Marie, and your family.

  29. Sparingly! i laughed out loud and woke up my husband (lol) kids are funny. wishing you strength to get through this battle.

  30. writingthebody said:

    Brave soul. Nice story too – it is funny how things are read by kids – and misread in a way that makes you notice how mad all that detail is.

  31. Thank you for being honest and vulnerable.

  32. I wish you and your family all the best. You sound like such a strong person.

  33. Hey I just nominated you for the Very Inspring Blog Award! Go check that out!
    http://materialdetox.wordpress.com/2012/12/15/very-inspiring-blog-award-2/

  34. […] Source:I will say This about That…and then I am Done… « Raising 5 Kids With Disabilities and Remaining…. […]

  35. An encouraging post for those of us with BIG challenges.

  36. Such adventures! The anger, sadness, joy, and moments of empty nothingness all come together to create the most inspiring lives and most inspiring, interesting stories. How ever did you come upon such a unique and courageous path? A mother to many! Good luck to you and your daughter.

    • I am so fortunate that I was raised by a mom who thought nothing was a problem that could be overcome. She actually said “Worry about nothing…” and I believed her! Having a multiply disabled brother who most parents would have worried about, was just a normal fact of life to us. No problem. No problem at all!

  37. I blame the cop.

  38. I appreciate your cause, but I couldn’t possibly do a public service video. The names of my children are confidential and I (generally) never show their faces as the three adopted ones have families “out there” who could do them harm.

  39. My sons are all grown but I still remind them to never ever ever talk to cops.
    Here, have you seen this story? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/07/marie-freyre-death-cerebral-palsy-nursing-home-miami-florida_n_2247614.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false It could be titled, “Turf wars kill child.”

    • No…I haven’t. I am a very empathetic individual, and I prefer not to see or get involved in situations which will make me feel powerless. The old adage “ignorance is bliss” is best applied to me to a fault.

  40. My five sons’ (and my) disabilities are assorted ADHD, LD, ODD, OCD, giftedness, and one has cerebral palsy and seizures.

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