My husband and I decided to go to our little cottage in New Hampshire for the weekend to rest up for the upcoming holiday festivities.  I filled the car with all of the Christmas present in order to wrap them in peace and quiet.

On Friday morning, we got up at 5AM so Raymond could spend a few hours working in a town a few hours from where our house is.  Those who know me or who have read my book know that I get carsick easily, so for the ride I generally spread out in the backseat with a few pillows and comfy blankets and snooze.  I was still snoozing when he got out to do his job, and, I’m embarrassed to say, I slept for another three hours!

When I woke up, I was desperately thirsty, and of course had to go to the bathroom.  I slowly sat up and looked out the windows, spotting a McDonald’s nearby.  I was joyous.  A hot cup of tea! A bathroom!  I maneuvered myself out of the backseat, threw on my husband’s old coat, (which looked to be warmer as it was snowing heavily outside,) and started walking toward the gleaming golden arches.  (Okay, that last part was a lie as they do not have golden arches anymore, but I was still half asleep, so I can’t be blamed…)

I have been suffering from an inner ear disorder lately; one which cause my balance to be “off”.  I wobble back and forth, and sometimes stumble and trip unless I have something to hold onto.  As I walked to McDonald’s, of course I was in open space, so my walking resembled someone who was drunk.   Embarrassed by my weaving, I snuck around the back of the restaurant and entered through that back door near the bathroom.  Once safely inside, I looked in the bathroom mirror, and I gasped.  A homeless person stared back at me, and it was ME! (And I mean no offense to the homeless…) One side of my head was flattened, complete with pillow marks on my face and a line of drool from my mouth.  The other side was fluffed straight out like half of a Bozo the Clown.  I wet my hair, and looked in the mirror again.  I looked like a drowned rat!  I also noticed that Raymond’s coat was way too big, had a pocket that was ripped, and had oil stains on it.  I was horrified!  Not so horrified, though, as to sneak out and go back to the car.   NO!  I wanted that caffeine too badly.  So, I wobbled out to the service counter, gathered all of my dignity, and ordered a hot tea.  It was poured and put on the counter, and I gave them my credit card to swipe.  (Isn’t crazy in this day and age that I always use my credit card for everything?)  The card was declined.  There I was, standing there at the counter, looking like a drunk homeless person, staring at the server like a deer in headlights.  What?  My charge is declined? I was mortified.  He was not going to budge.  No money….no tea.  With a huge sigh of relief I looked in my wallet and found that $20 bill hidden in that secret compartment in case of an emergency.  This definitely qualified…

I took my prize and wobbled back to the van, where I settled down again in the back seat, happily drinking my tea.

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Comments on: "I Looked in the Mirror and I saw a Homeless Person…" (27)

  1. too funny!!! 🙂

  2. This reminds me of the saying my mom used to say, “There but for the grace of God go I.” Thank goodness you are not really homeless, and you could use the $20 you have stashed in your wallet for emergencies. You had a warm car and house to get to with all the comforts it provides. It’s a reminder though of how connected we all really are though isn’t it? This is also a great reminder of how important it is to look beyond what’s on the outside, because we never know what is really waiting for us on the inside….thanks for the smile and for the reminders.

  3. Small world….I live in NH too!

  4. I have nominated you for the Versatile Bloggers Award! Follow the link to accept the award! http://ellythewelly.wordpress.com/2012/12/23/wow-versatile-bloggers-award/ 😀

    • Thank you so much for the nomination. The fact is, I am completely clueless how to add the little award icon to my blog.
      Thank you, though.

      • You welcome! If you go on my post and you right click on the certificate thingy, save the picture. Then when you write up the post add media and insert the picture! Hope that helped? 😀

  5. I’m sorry that was such an ordeal, but laughter is sometimes a cathartic feeling. I have been in the same boat, except mine was at Wal Mart, which is way worse. I love your blog, keep up the great work!

  6. Some people would have cried, or at least abandoned the idea of tea. I applaud your bravery and perseverance. Most of all I love that you chose laughter. Merry Christmas!

  7. We’re spending the holiday in New Hampshire too! I hope you have a lovely Christmas. Perhaps it will snow!

  8. violetannie63 said:

    Glad you got your cup of tea in the end. Tea makes everyone more human! 🙂

  9. That is such a great story, very cute! Glad you found the money and got your tea!

  10. Something similar happened to me… just too busy to check how I looked before going to the town center on our rusty old bike in my old pants with my hair standing on end… I only noticed AFTER I’d visited a shop.
    Good for you, having emergency money stuffed away in a corner like that. I do hope your credit card is alive and well?
    Merry Christmas!

  11. This is pretty funny! My husband always says that he looks like a homeless person when he wakes up in the morning! I guess we can’t all wake up with “movie star” hair, huh? 🙂 I’m not saying that I do either, but there are days when I wish I did!

  12. Oh no. I’m really sorry but this post made me smile. I’m sure I often look like a homeless person on trips I have long hair which gets messed up by the wind, Karly tends to lean on me and brush up against me a lot and our chihuahua buddy thinks he has a permanent place on my lap, so I am covered in dog hair. And horror of horrors I have probably eaten something that has dropped on my clothing. I can really relate to this post. On a serious note, I hope you get stuff sorted out with your credit card.

  13. Michel Bartol said:

    i usually bought bathroom mirrors with stainless steel support for extra strength..

    Latest post on our personal web page
    <img src="http://www.melatoninfaq.com/melatonin-what-it-can-do-to-the-human-body/“>

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