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My husband and I took a little “romantic trip for two” last weekend, so I did not get my usual laundry done. This week, being school vacation, saw me working 60 hours coordinating an educational and recreational program for children with disabilities.  It was an awesome, fun week, and the kiddos were a joy!  However,  by the time I dragged myself into the house in the early evening, I had no energy to do any type of cooking/cleaning/thinking/talking or moving. The only movement I could muster up was my index finger on the TV remote…

Getting dressed this morning, there was not a piece of clean underwear to be found. Not in my underwear drawer, in the dryer, under the bed, on the floor of the bathroom, in the puppies bed, or in the refrigerator. (You never know…)  What was I to do?  It briefly crossed my mind to not wear any, but that idea was quickly tossed aside.  In “my” generation, we just didn’t DO that.  So, I dug up the only pair of underwear left…the unworn g-string bikini bottom to a baby doll negligee I had brought on our romantic weekend. (I always optimistically pack several “outfits”…)  Slipping the bikini on, it was immediately apparent that it were not going to adequately cover all of my “private areas”, but it was either that pair or nothing, and nothing was not an option.  The thought of getting into an accident and having the paramedics see a woman my age wearing a g-string bikini did seem horrifying, so I promised myself I would drive very carefully and walk very slowly all day so as not to get into an accident or trip and fall…

Finding a bra was almost as difficult, but in the back corner of the drawer was  one bra that had eluded trash day.  The straps were so old and loose that it did not properly support my breasts in the manner to which they are accustomed.  Other than going braless, which would surely have traumatized a few people, I put on the saggy resemblance of a bra. To say that my breasts came within inches of my waistline is not an exaggeration.  But it was better than down to my knees…

Finding a shirt was almost as difficult, but way in the back of my closet was a “beautifully” flowered shirt that I used to wear when I was two sizes larger.  For some reason I’d always loved that shirt because it was “comfy”, so on it went.  At least with all of the bold flowers, my sagging breasts were not so apparent.

For pants, I wore the same pair of jeans I had worn earlier in the week.  Jeans seem to be the one item that do not have to be washed every time they are worn.  Of course, when you wear them a little more than you should, they DO get baggy in all the wrong places, which resulted in a bigger rear end than I would normally sport.  Fortunately, the flowered shirt was so large that it completely covered this area anyway.

The biggest challenge, even when I DO the laundry, was finding a pair of matching socks.  I looked ALL OVER….and I was thrilled when I finally found a pair of matching red and white striped socks.  Of course, the stripes were on candy canes, and  big red Santas graced the top band of the socks, but at least they matched!

My Dansko shoes, (the only type I can wear comfortably,) were on the porch where I had taken them off.  Unfortunately, Jody, our new puppy, had decided they made great chew toys, and she had chewed the decorative leather band  around the top of them.  Fortunately, she had chewed them both equally so they at least matched…

I quickly tried to fix my unruly hair, which can usually be coaxed into a semblance of curls and puffiness. Not today.  Today it refused to be tamed.  My hair is longer than usual because there has been no time to get a haircut, so it is super fluffy and frizzy, and standing on end all around my head like a wild lion mane.  Better than that….like Phil Spector…

Looking in the mirror, I assessed my appearance. Hair unruly enough to scare  Frankenstein.  Saggy breasts under a garden explosion of a shirt that was so large my daughter could have fit in it with me. Saggy jeans, which are somewhat of a relief because they do not fit tightly enough to force the bikini bottom to slide up into my butt. Shoes missing the decorative strap, but otherwise presentable.  And white and red striped socks…not too bad if you don’t look at the top of them.  I was “passable” as long as I stood up all day lest people see the Santas on the top of my socks. Then I would look REALLY ridicules….

 

 

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PS. I have recently been honored with a special award from http://lyricsonthelake.wordpress.com/2013/04/29/because-why-not/:

award_underpants

 

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The Apple Tree: Raising 5 Kids With Disabilities and Remaining Sane
Authored by Linda Petersen
The link to the book:
https://www.createspace.com/5321986?ref=1147694&utm_id=6026

https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/the-apple-tree/id538572206?mt=11

The Apple Tree: Raising 5 Kids With Disabilities and Remaining Sane

Link to the Readers Digest review of my book:  http://www.rd.com/recommends/what-to-read-after-a-hurricane/

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Comments on: "Have You Ever Run out of Clean Underwear?" (87)

  1. Yes! Why Yes! I too have run out of underwear. In similar circumstances, with similar results. 🙂

  2. Humorous story, funny picture, but oh, so real!

  3. Bathing suit bottoms! : )

  4. Yes! This has happened at my house!

  5. Very funny, I could also remember times when my household was like that, I love reading your blog.

  6. Priceless. One question though. How in the world did this post not come with a photo of this fantastic fashion statement?!?

  7. ha! seemed you ran out of everything!! you probably should have just stayed in your pj’s! 🙂

  8. Oh, yes, I’ve had those days . . . Usually on the same days I run out of clean dishes and end up eating cereal out of a coffee mug with a melon baller.

    Thanks for the chuckle!

  9. LOL! No pictures?

  10. Jackie Saulmon Ramirez said:

    I always laughed and said, “You turn them wrong-side out and they’re good for another three days.”

  11. Paratroopers maintain ‘Sorted Piles’ for underwear because you can only wear one side at a time: : 1. Both Sides Clean 2. One-Side Dirty 3. Both Sides Dirty 4. Both Sides Must Be Clean They have sat there for a month!

  12. Ha Ha. I just wear Fitty’s undies if I run out! But that’s unlikely as I have (at last count) 52 pairs of underwear!!!
    Fitty has about half that many and around 30 pairs of socks. We often wear each others work socks. You just have to learn to SHARE!!

  13. Love it!!! Thanks for the laugh this morning 🙂

  14. Thanks for the incredible laugh this morning!! What a great post! Loved it!! What makes it even more funnier is the fact I can relate!! hahahahaha!!!!!!
    Excellent post, thanks for sharing 🙂

  15. Boy, can I ever relate to this! But, again, why no pictures? Did the camera break?

  16. Ha, when I run out of clean underwear I go ‘commando’ and swap my trousers for my kilt – the risk of catching my man parts in the zipper makes trousers not a favoured option if I am not wearing underwear 😆

  17. This made me laugh…not at you…but because I had a similar thing happen many years ago 🙂

  18. You made me LOL this morning—thank you 🙂 Have a blessed day!!!

  19. Hilarious! Boy, I sure have been there before.

  20. I have had these days! We rely on a laundromat so yes, I feel your pain! Hope the laundry fairy came by and made the dirty laundry into clean. 😉

  21. In the new sistuation I find myself I have had this experience more often than I would like to admit in a public forum!! LOL

  22. OMG! I am reading this while making meatballs and sauce! Couldn’t help but look down at myself and crack up! Hope I don’t burn myself frying meatballs because I would not be presentable at the ER either! Re: undies, my mom refers to anything thong-like as dental floss and always offers to take me shopping for some real undies! Guess its time…

  23. been there, done that, forget to get the new t-shirt…. thanks for the chuckle.

  24. I must confess, despite your very vivid description of your outfit, I scrolled down to the bottom hoping for a photo! But that’s okay, I can picture you so clearly in my mind, and you made me laugh out loud several times. Hey, when we have days like that, it’s either laugh at ourselves or go crazy! You go, girl!

  25. P.S. I hope it’s okay that I just shared your blog on Facebook. I think everyone should “meet” you and your family because you are truly inspiring!

  26. My husband and I had a good laugh over this one. Believe me, I can relate!

  27. I work as an attendant at a laundromat and I have to say that you were probably still far more fashionable and put together than a lot of my customers. Of course, now I have a bit more empathy for what many of them may be going through on laundry day 🙂

  28. Absolutely hilarious! Thanks for sharing your laughter – assuming you were chuckling along with, that is! Have a GREAT day!

  29. That was awesome!
    We went camping once and …oops! I forgot to pack undies. Luckily my hubby packed several extras so I can claim to have worn whitey tighties!

  30. I have lived this day before…lol. Awesome story telling.

  31. This made me laugh:) I can empathize. And yes my mother was a stickler on all the undies (and the belly button) being washed before we went out because we might have an accident and end up in the emergency room. So glad you shared this with us:)

  32. Oh Dear!!
    I am not alone!! 😉

  33. Been there, for sure! Really, my first thought was, “sounds like when I lived in the dorms at college!” THen I thought a bit and that was me only a few weeks ago!

  34. Loved it! Really enjoyed your frankness and humor!!

  35. It is so nice to see you are not afraid to show you are only human. Everyone has had a similar experience in some way. Maybe we didn’t run out of everything like you but at least one or two essential pieces. The fact that you came up with solutions is a testament of how moms need to think on their feet. I love your blog. Keep writing.

  36. Teacher2mum said:

    Love your survival tactics, wouldn’t it be nice if, on those days we could just flop back into bed – stay in our pyjamas, get things sorted AND then address the world. Good on you for clambering together an outfit when it all just seemed so hard. Mum’s like you are true heros.

  37. Lol! That made me howl. I have been in you er…shoes before but never with such a good excuse. 🙂 I read someone suggest bathing suit bottoms and had a quick mental inventory of where I keep those, just in case.

  38. Wow at least you have the excuse of unwashed laundry. Sometimes I can’t find any underwear period. I don’t know what happens. For some reason my brain has decided to put them in a different place every time I put away laundry.

  39. Sylvia C. M'Bemba said:

    Hi Linda, I have been reading your blog, it’s really inspirational. Lots of love to you and your wonderful family

  40. Men just run to Walmart and grab new stuff. If I sent my hubby to ‘grab’ some for me, I’d end up with zebra striped everything, in the wrong sizes. And, he’s probably take hours…

  41. Once again, you have me howling! 🙂 Thanks for sharing. I think we’ve ALL done this at one time or another! Those who haven’t–well, they just haven’t lived! 😉

  42. Hilarious, and so true of everyday living.

  43. Your appearance seems to confront you often, but doesn’t quite challenge.. ha ha

    • Yeh, my appearance has kind of been a joke my whole life. I often disparage my looks, but I don’t feel badly about it because I feel “pretty” on the inside. Of course, I still enjoy the beauty in others…

  44. My children are 3 1/2, 3 1/2 and nearly 5. I have not yet given up one of the portable cribs. I use it in one of the kids’ rooms to corral all of the washed, but unsorted, unfolded and not yet hung laundry items. Today, clothes, towels and more flew in every direction as I attempted to put together outfits for the girls to wear to school. They all made it to school on time and looked presentable, but I am now faced with the aftermath. It looks like a tornado hit and I am not very enthusiastic about tackling it. Your story gave me a good laugh. I tend to take it all too seriously sometimes. Thank you for lightening my day.

  45. i don’t want to imagine those days

  46. So funny! When it rains, it pours I guess. I’m sure you looked lovely.

  47. Right on! Oh my words are chastising me into submission–no matter what–underwear must be CLEAN—oh my poor daughters–stuck with the same message. Thank YOU! Barb

  48. […] Have You Ever Run out of Clean Underwear? (5kidswdisabilities.com) […]

  49. That made me laugh! When my husband and I were first married, the laundry facilities at our apartment complex were in a separate building. It was such a pain that we would wait until we have nothing left to wear, and then my husband would load up the car with baskets of dirty laundry and drive it over to the laundry building. I went out and bought us both lots of extra underwear just so we wouldn’t have to do laundry so often!

  50. Ha! I love it!! I was just scanning through some of your posts, and I have to tell you, you seem like an incredibly impressive woman. I was a home aid to special needs children and yourn adults nad what most people don’t understand is that special need parents are (hopefully) still very very active parents well into their childrens’ middle age years. This takes so much integrity, wisdom, ENERGY, and I can’t imagine getting through it without prayer. And so many people didn’t “choose” this life, but from what I underdstand, you did through adoption. God bless you!!!!

    • Yeh, because I chose it, it is a lot easier, I don’t know why. The bit about having to care for my 3 youngest kiddos into their middle ages, (and my old age,) had not crossed my mind before…..

  51. This is hilarious and oh, so real! Thank you for giving me a good laugh first thing waking up this morning!

  52. I’ve been saving this for when I needed a giggle. Thank you! It was well worth saving to read when I needed some good cheer. Thank you for sharing what we all end up doing – and I don’t have any kids (except cats, of course) to distract me from laundry. I just don’t like doing laundry. 🙂

  53. At 75 going “commando” is sometimes an accidental equivalent of sky diving.

  54. My life everyday! And, I just can’t understand the commando thing. Chaffing is a scary thing to me ;P

  55. Funny and real- thanks for being free to keep it real! :o)

  56. Reblogged this on Sherry's Space and commented:
    That’s OK sometimes you need to take a break, so you can refresh yourself and be there for your kids. Otherwise you will be overrun and over tired

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