Archive for October, 2015

A Cautionary Tale about Halloween Costumes

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For some reason, one of my children’s favorite holidays is Halloween. When discussing shared custody of his toddler daughter, my son, Steven, listed Halloween as the most important holiday. Christmas…ah…he can be flexible. Thanksgiving….not all that important. Fourth of July? Just another summer day. (Of course, the fact that with his Asperger’s he is naturally aversive to the larger celebrations does come into play here.)

Steven, being the obsessive reptile expert that he is, always dressed like Steve Irwin, the famous crocodile hunter, for Halloween. Crouching down near the doors of the expectant candy deliverers, he could be heard saying “Aye! Ain’t she a beaut!” while poking at a snake (stuffed), just like his television idol. His plan this year is to again dress like Steve Irwin and to dress his precious daughter up as a crocodile, once again proclaiming, “Aye, Ain’t she a beaut!” at each home. He is excited to be able to share this pleasant childhood memory with HIS child.

Having five children and many foster children, I was always on the look out for Halloween costumes on sale at deep discounts after the holiday. I hit the jackpot at Toys r Us one year when I found an adult sized chicken costume, complete with feathers, sizable full head mask with a plume on top, suitably lifelike feet and feather-like gloves. The price was 90% off. What a find! Excitement welled up in me as I thought about the next Halloween and one of my children wearing the amazing outfit.

As it does every October, Halloween rolled around again, and the costume was perfect for Francis, my oldest son, who was very, very tall at the age of 10. He wanted a silly, popular costume like Spiderman, but I talked him into wearing the chicken costume, a really GOOD costume. He was afraid people would think he was Big Bird, a humiliating costume for a 10 year old. I assured him it looked NOTHING like Big Bird.

Of course, I was completely wrong. At each and every door, the candy presenter would exclaim, “Oh, LOOK! It’s BIG BIRD!” and they would laugh at the amazement of such an elaborate costume. Francis, of course, did not laugh. At each and every door, he would turn around to look and stare at me through the beady little eyes of the chicken mask. His steely stare said it all. He was humiliated and it was my fault!

I learned valuable lessons that day. Just because something is on sale at a deep discount does not mean I have to buy it. And maybe, just maybe, those silly, popular costumes of Spiderman may be what my child wants to wear, which doesn’t make them silly at all!

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Please consider purchasing my book: The Apple Tree: Raising 5 Kids with Disabilities and Remaining Sane on Amazon.

Did You Ever Have One of THOSE Days?

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Usually mornings are hectic; get up reluctantly, sleepily make a cup of tea, eat quickly, rummage through clothes to find a suitable outfit, and out the door I go. Yesterday was different. As I was rushing past the back door to get out, I stopped suddenly to look out the window at the pond and was mesmerized by the sight. The water was as smooth as glass, with the exception of the migrating ducks; whose criss cross swimming replicated that of precision swimmers. All were swimming in unison, zig zagging through the water leaving wakes behind them, which decorated the pond like a huge abstract painting. In all of my years, it is a wonder I never appreciated this artwork by nature before.

Stepping out into the cool October air, I drew a deep breath, savoring the crispness that filled my lungs. It was so invigorating that I walked to my car with a spring in my step and a smile of contentment on my face. Such days in October are a welcome treat after the long summer heat.

Driving to work on Route 295, my mood was elevated by the surprise of the colorful autumn trees. Although I had obviously seen them before in my rush to get to work, on this day the sight overwhelmed me, especially when driving from the shade into the bright sun, which delightfully shone down and highlighted the beauty of the yellows, oranges and reds. My heart got goose bumps as I continued to drive amidst the vibrant landscape.

Life is usually too rushed and my brain full of mingled thoughts to really appreciate my surroundings. This day was different, an almost spiritual reminder to appreciate the good things in life.

On my way home from work I impulsively stopped at the grocery store to buy some apple cider and cinnamon. Tomorrow I will have a cup of hot cider in the morning as I relax in my chair and soak in the beauty of the pond.

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Please consider purchasing my book: The Apple Tree: Raising 5 Kids with Disabilities and Remaining Sane on Amazon.

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